Jokes from my Jersey Aunt (NOT my kids~)

NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was starknaked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout fromthe back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!

HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'ddropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it inthe garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment then ran to mybathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with acharming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.

ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderlyshut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes , walkers andwheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at apair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for theinevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "Thetooth fairy will never believe this!"

DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she sawher dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear thatsuit."

"And why not, darling?"

"You know that it always gives you aheadache the next morning.."

SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished herfirst week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to hermother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

BIBLE

A little boy opened the big familybible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked atit. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between thepages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?"

With astonishment in the young boy'svoice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"