The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weightyou have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a> flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation whiledrunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in whichyou absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you upafter you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearingadopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles hisconversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand):The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up ontothe roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxershorts worn by Jewish men.