My boys have been filming (well, video taping) dating lessons. OMG! Spare has a major crush on Jamie Lynn Spears and Kelly Pickler (sp) from American Idol - he tells me, "I like blondes." Again OMG - he's not even in double digits yet. Heir wrote a note to a girl he wanted to ask to the Spring fling only to find out his friend, Arthur, likes her too, so what does the friend do? He asks to see the note then EATS it so Heir cannot give it to her - OMG.

But then it gets worse - apparently the girl - let's call her Trixie (mostly 'cause I cannot remember her name) tells heir and Arthur that she is turning them into the "tattle box" for some unknown crime they have committed. Heir decided he won't ask her as she seems to think disparaging things against him - his words - sheesh. To which the dh and I tell him that that is a good thing, she probably likes him and is doing that thing that kids have done for ages (i.e. pulling of pigtails, punching of the arm) but so far he's not buying it. The dance is not until May, so we shall see.

What I don't understand is for the last couple of months, all he has talked about is one particular girl, Billie. He had drawn pictures of her (the funniest one is the one where she is weaing an "I love Heir" t-shirt to which he also drew him wearing an "I love Billie" t-shirt). Fickle, fickle children. Were it not for chemically enhanced red hair.... I don't think I'd look good w/ silver hair.

When I was Spare's age, boys were not even on the radar - though I kissed my first boys at 6 - ran up smack him on the cheek and took off - he never spoke to me again after that. I could tell you his name but what if in some strange small world cosmic way someone might actually know him and tell him. I'd be devastated - not that he knew I did but.... what if he didn't even remember or worse, he hated it!

When I was Heir's age, we started ranking the boys as to who we liked best to worse and if a boy was particularly mean (like when they called me little orphan Annie thanks to my riot of curls and freckles) they went straight to the bottom of the list.

...but as usual, I digress, I am too young for my boys to be doing this - and the two older ones are sucking the little ones in on it. Mini-me went into great detail about his girlfirned that works up at Wal-mart (news to me - I may have to stop taking him with me when I go). Spare + 1 tells me a girl in his class acts all goofy when they are standing in line together, "It's 'cause she likes me," he says in his deep, deep voice (he's gonna be another Barry White or *gasp* Vin Diesel).

Next thing you know, they will want their own cell phone - oh wait, Spare does - OMG. When they start shaving .........